Friday, December 4, 2009

Bad Parenting

Last weekend I was visually assaulted by a level of stupidity and sheer arrogance (two things that should NEVER meet!) that I had never before seen in my life. I have to get this off my chest.

I was in the grocery store parking lot getting ready to turn into a parking space. Thank God for the brakes that came with my used car, as I had to slam them on to avoid colliding with a preschool age boy as he darted out into the parking lot. As I waited for the boy to be contained by his father, I had a chance to take in the situation.

This man had 4 little boys, all appearing to be between the ages of 2 and 5, all of them were having a wonderful time playing what appeared to be tag while running between cars at some points even into traffic. How sweet. The doting imbecile father had another future imbecile in his arms, (another boy, probably about 9-10 months), as he very slowly corralled his offspring and glared at me as he crossed into the store. I bit my tongue and refrained from leaning on my horn as he waved his finger and shook his head at me while in front of my car.

After parking my car and entering the store, I was not surprised to see his four little angels merrily decimating a Christmas display while he was trying to get the baby into a cart. I took the chance to glare him down and shake my head (I became my mother for one minute!). At that point Mr. Imbecile proceeded to scream at me, asking me why I hated children so much.

Lets get this straight, asshat. I DO NOT hate children. I LOVE children, I happen to have a gorgeous daughter myself. What I took offense to was this idiot thinking that because he lacked the;

a. Ability
b. Initiative
c. Intelligence monitor and supervise his own offspring, it was the general public's responsibility to do so. Too many people do that - they give the rest of us responsible and courteous parents a bad rap by bringing their jam handed little monsters out in public to do their evil deeds, and never once do the doting mommies or daddies even blink an eye. I am not saying my daughter was a perfect angel in public, I have taken her out of restaurants on a few occasions before she could wreck the rest of the patrons meals. But here is the difference between me and Mr. Imbecile: I took my child home when she went berserk, he let his loose on a Christmas tree in our local grocery store.

This man had 5 children, who if they have anything in common with their dad, could produce between them 25 children. Mathematically that makes 30 more idiots in this world! My words to this man were simple. I told him that I didn't hate children, that I love children, but I hate stupid people who create stupid children and then don't give those children any guidance, resulting in those little cretins growing up into stupid adults who will make more stupid children... and that the one good thing he's doing is teaching them to play in traffic.. so perhaps the laws of natural selection would come into play and the world may be spared any of his offsprings' offspring.

Please, you gigantic asshat, next time you touch your obviously over-fertile wife, bag it. The world is full of out-of-control nitwits, your contribution of 5 more is enough.

Thursday, February 21, 2008

Thank you CraigsList

RE: Otterman for Sale - $1
Reply to:
Date: 2008-02-20, 10:42PM EST

Otterman for sale

Green otterman for sale. 38Lx30Wx18H. This otterman is in very good shape. I'm selling this only because it doesn't match my new living room set. Best reasonable offer take it. Call 603-

* This item has been posted by-owner.
* Location: Chester,NH
* it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests

No one knows how he was caught... that elusive Otterman. Some say he's a legend. Not real. Others say he's best friends with Bigfoot and has had several play dates with the Locheness monster. Either way, he has not been seen for years and thought extinct.

But now, NOW we KNOW!(and knowing is half the battle) He's being held captive in Chester NH!

BEWARE!!! Beware the creature of the cute little face and fearsome cracking of clams on the belly .... Beware of the OTTERMAN!



Thank you for the endless amusement I get from reading the posts there... as well as from posting replies. Oh yes, I know I'm not supposed to reply in the for sale area, but I simply cannot help myself.

Friday, February 15, 2008

Yes... YET another Craigslist Asshat.

So... as I'm perusing Craigslist this morning I see a post for a wall hanging that I've looked at in Ikea several times.

I've only looked since I really want a picture this size, but I want one of Houston TX, not NYC. Plus, the $199.00 price tag for something I don't totally want is a bit more than I'm willing to spend.

I figured "Cool! I'll get it cheaper and be happy with it!" ...HA!

The individual that seems to think that they can pull one over on a huge multitude of people listed the $199 picture at $300!

Since I happen to KNOW it's $199, I email the mouth-breather who posted it up.. basically saying wtf.

SO.. this weeks "Craigslist Ass-hat Award" goes to the lovely participant who, when I emailed asking WHY she was trying to scam people responded with a well thought out, highly intelligent reply:

"its supposed to say 200

and how would u know what it cost"

Um. It's called the Internet, Captain Obvious. Seriously, you (Or should I say "u") laboriously lame imbecile! Did you honestly think that NO one may have seen that particular item?? As if you purchased this in the far off, foreign land of "Stoughton Mass" and no one would ever know you were trying to pull a fast one? It's Ikea, you dolt! The reason the store is so popular is because *gasp* people GO there!

By the way... it says $300... Not $200 (which is STILL a dollar OVER what you paid!! Dumb ass!)

Sweet tap-dancing Christ. Seriously... the stupidity of people never ceases to astound me.

You, dear CL poster, are a total and complete ass-hat. Congrats.

Tuesday, February 12, 2008

As a side note:


Don't send a resume that is chock-full of typographical errors and.... well.... stupidity. Please.

First off, I've found this nifty program called "Spell Check". It is widely available, and I'm betting that whatever you're using to write your resume probably comes equipped with said proggy.

Use it. Use it again. Use it again and then maybe try one more time. Then print out the resume and check every single word. Hand your resume to your neighbor, ask them to read and correct it. A passing police man? Yes, hand it to them to. The bag-boy at your local supermarket? No. Don't hand it to him. He's bagging groceries and probably not all that bright.

If you don't do that and send your resume in with errors? Please understand that you WILL be mocked... viciously. We do read them. We do pass them about and make nasty comments about just how much of a mouth-breather you really are. We do. Honestly. Do you WANT to know that an entire company is pointing and laughing at what you've written down about your entire working life? No. That would be too much to bear and in the end you'd probably rather staple your upper lip to your forehead.

SO... use spell check/grammar check for fucks sake.

Saturday, February 9, 2008

Walgreens Celebrates Black History Month...

... sort of? - Honestly... Maybe I'm reading something into this simply because I tend to be slightly warped, but cotton balls is how Walgreens celebrates Black history month?? Are they trying to say "Good job on that whole being black thing! Here's some cotton that wasn't picked by slaves!"??

It's driving me nuts. I so want to know if the person that put that sign up was snickering the entire time, or if they simply were incredibly dense.

So eh... Happy Black History month... swab your face or dab some ointment on or whatever it is you do for celebration. At least they didn't put the sign over a display of fried chicken and Maddog.

Just sayin'...

Tuesday, January 22, 2008

An open letter to...erm... Everyone.

People, I am begging you to spend some time perusing the closest thesaurus, dictionary, encyclopedia or perhaps a few "Dixie Cups" to find some new words. Here are the things people say that seriously irritate me and I feel the need to spout off about.

"My Bad" ... STOP IT! It's not cute or funny. Its ignorant.

"Ghetto" ... To anyone under the age of 30... not everything is "ghetto." Cease and desist immediately with describing everything that is of middling or poor quality as being "ghetto." Ignoring the fact that it is mildly offensive, it is also indicative of lazy thinking. It isn't really a good metaphor. Or kenning, as the case may be. . Or may I suggest using it sparingly if you simply cannot help yourself.

"I could care less" ... Repeat that statement in your head a few times and think about it. Go ahead... I'll wait. . . . . . . . . . Are you comprehending this? If you are attempting to show your disdain for someone or some thing, saying you COULD care less does not quite hit the mark. Think before you speak.

"Irregardless" ... Seriously. Think for yourselves. Yes, you may have heard this word being bandied about, but this does not mean you need to use it in conversation as well. It's not truly a word. It's not a word that makes any sense if you break it down to its true forms. It is an un-word. Don't use it. Seriously. I will slap you with something large, ouchy and bappy if you feel the need to try and use this pompous sounding word in my presence.

Trust me... there's more, but I have to get ready for work.

Another day, another Grammatical issue I despise...

Your vs. You're. This pisses me off. I'm not kidding. "You're" is basically You Are. "Your" is "That belongs to you". SO ... class... If you want to, say, go on a forum and tell people you dislike them because their mental aptitude is sub-par.... saying "Your all a bunch of idiots! You should get you're heads examined!" is bad. Bad poster, Bad Poster!! *slaps you with a newspaper*

Sunday, January 13, 2008

It just made me giggle....